Posts Tagged ‘love’

Love, sex and money, have been a subject for debate for many years. Some have tried to prove that they are mutually exclusive. I Wouldn’t even try to pinch anyone’s panties on this matter.

Have you ever given critical thought into why single ladies enter into romantic relationship with married men? Or all you do when you see them is to just conclude. What we always say is,’hmm, girls and money”.
We find it easier to understand why men cheat on their wives. Boredom, frustration, unfulfilled fantasies, freedom,I can go on.
Allow me to take you on a journey into the mind of a lady who makes a decision to fornicate with an adulterer.

To make this easier I’ll just itemize:


    Ladies find it hard to stay single

these days, its like a curse on them when someone asks and they have to say they are single. They are desperate to be with someone, not because they want to but they feel the need that they have to. They don’t want a situation where the guy would get serious enough to want to get married but at the same time, he would be good to them.
2. Some ladies believe that if a married man could approach them, it means that there s something he needs from the wife at home that he s not getting. They fall under the illusion that maybe he has found it in them and perhaps he will leave his wife for them.

    These married men are very caring

they know how to take care of business. They make these ladies feel like queens. This makes some ladies stick to these men like tick on cow. Personally, its like believing rice is as good as food could get. These married men appear caring just because they have ladies at home, they have lived with women, they know exactly what ladies want. They cannot give it to the ones at home because it will make them look weak so they prefer to be vulnerable to the ladies outside. The singular reason for that is they can get rid of the ladies fast. Sorry, I m supposed to be talking about the ladies.

    These ladies want freedom

from engaging relationships. They want a relationship that wouldn’t grow into anything. A stagnant relationship is just appealing to them. Married men don’t want to be with ladies that want to follow them around. They want ladies that have a life of their own, sort of. They wouldn’t even complain about the ladies extra affairs, all they care about is getting what they want when they ask. Damn, I am talking about the guys again! Anyway, independence seeking ladies date married men!


    Most financially stable men are married

I wouldn’t say for sure that ladies need money excessively, but one thing I m sure they want, comfort. They like to be comfortable, even when they don’t deserve it. The only men that can give funds and won’t ask for too much, I mean all they ask for is probably sex and some attention.

I do not really need to advice ladies not to enter into relationship with married men, but I ll mention these:
1. Everything he tells you about his plans for you are lies.
2. He will never leave his wife for you.
3. He is with you just because he can send you off easily.

Feel free to share your thoughts!


I wrote earlier about what you need first to succeed in any life course. I talked about staying alive. If you missed it, get it here
It is a common thought that people who succeed are the ones who found what they have passion for. It is simply edged into us that we have to do something we have passion for, to be successful and happy.
We indeed take our time to find what ‘ we exactly should do ‘ with our life.


Lets think about this: does passion pre-exist birth?
No. Passion for doing something is developed consciously or reflexively through life experiences and exposures. This means that you develop passion for things you already like doing.
All I m saying is don’t go about looking for what you should do with your life, in the name of finding what you have passion for. What you do now is something you can develop passion for and you ll end up loving it.

Keep this in mind though: becoming passionate about your career is easy, keeping it up at all times is hard so always remember that you re in control of your passion and passion is just a tool to let you sail through life, successfully, happily.
We ll speak again soon.


I searched his face, I found his mind. It was lost. It was numb. His heart was spread around with the storm. He suddenly grew ages into the future.
‘We cannot be together’. I said. ‘ we don’t have our lives together. Let’s keep being friends.’
I knew from genesis, I wouldn’t be with him. He will never be my man. I will never marry a man!
He was just too suitable to be desired, deserved, declared wanted.
I am just too cruel, crude, that I should be rested off in pieces at catacombs!
My mother always said,’if he is too true, he is a lie.’
I knew his was true truth but he was too steady, too ready, too….
He once told me he met me and I made him want to love, want to trust, want to burst out with passion greater than that of a hungry charging lion.
I said I am too wasted, too tasted, too listed to elope with undecided passion, unaccustomed actions, unwanted contracts.


I never told him how my life was. How I was deprived, denied, derived. I never told him how, I was tossed, pierced, pounced, by lustful men for years, how I lost my dignity, my sincerity for one man.
The lustful men, I educated their lustfulness, they fulfilled my neediness. My wants was neither for passion nor lust, it was monetary.


I did it all by men for a man.
I wanted him to be the best so I took the night shift. At least that’s what I called it. I gave him every penny I made. I gave him every piece of my soul, every ounce of my heaviness.
When he found out, he left me. He left me with nothingness. I didn’t even have me. What was left of me was garbage. I am garbage! He said ‘you! You re a whore.’ I was torn, worn, burnt.


As I cried, days turned into seasons, nights into generations. I still cry, ten times a day. Ten times a day is how much I remember what I did for a man. Ten times a day is how much i remember what I am today.
This evening, Chukwu says, ‘Bukola, will you marry me?’


I shall never be a victim of my actions again so I said, ‘no dear’.
He will find out. He will leave. They always do.
I was a good girl. I am a good girl but no one shall ever know.
I shall live and die alone.

Falling in love is easy , living in love is hard.
Falling in love is chemistry. Getting married is arithmetic. To love, nothing is put into consideration. You just look into each others eyes and it just feels good. You just want the person, without thinking about any aftermath.

Louis de berniéres:

“Love is a temporary madness, it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion, it is not the desire to mate every second minute of the day, it is not lying awake at night imagining that he is kissing every cranny of your body. No, don’t blush, I am telling you some truths. That is just being “in love”, which any fool can do. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident.”

After reading this, there is not much for me to say about love.
Lets talk about getting married.
Love is just action, marriage is decision.
Before you go into marriage with someone, you get to consider lots and lots of issues. You weigh multiple prospective spouses, you make research, you look at potentials.
At this point, don’t tell me you re in love. If you re, you ll just go do whatever with your eyes closed. You won’t even hope for the best because, love is unconditional. I shake my head.
Even if I agree that love is unconditional, getting married isn’t!
Getting married is filled with all sorts of conditions.
In the movies, you get married because you are in love. In real life, you get married to fall in love.

Don’t be deceived, of you ‘decide’ to get married, make sure the terms are favourable.
Do it on your own terms. Don’t ever be blinded by love.
It is those terms that keep you there ( marriage). When the sparks and shines in your eyes’ fade, the conditions, that made you decide to love,  will make you keep loving.

It is said, love is blind and marriage is the cure. Don’t let it be that it is when you get into marriage that you realize you need some math.
Use marriage to open that vast avenue to love without condition.

So, I don’t know about unconditional love …but I understand unconditional marriage!

Till next time…open your heart wider than your eyes!


I have always thought  about this bleaching thing as fad; something that ll fade over time. It seems like our ladies, even the fair ones, can’t help removing their natural skin.
I ll just drop it gbam! Of you bleach, you have issues. Social issues, complex issues, medical issues, I can keep going.
Let me first tell you what you do to yourself when you bleach.
What makes you dark is called melanin. When you apply lightening cream to a part of your dark body , you alter the melanin production in that part of your skin. What kills the melanin production is the ingredients in the product. Mercury is one and its really baddd. It can poison your body content.
Hydroquinone is another. This one causes unwanted and untreatable skin discoloration. That’s why you see ladies with all the colours of the rainbow on their face, only one face, haba!
– premature aging of the skin- ur skin would disgrace your real age
– skin cancer – I dont need to explain
– poor wound healing…hmm
– non artistic stretch marks-I m sure you know Zebra, yours would be MSM-multicoloured stretch marks.
Just think about these;
-No white woman( well I call them white because they re actually colorless) goes for melanin injection. Why should you kill your abundant melanin.
– why should someone become superior because they re colorless.

– common if you love who you re, you won’t damage your chassis, if you buy a new Benz painted black, would you just carry white paint to start repainting. No! You ll probably take it back to the manufacturer for repainting. In this case I think you ll need to pray to God to complain about your body colour.
I ll say this ; your color is always beautiful if you re beautiful. Your colour don’t make you…you make you YOU!
I have to stop here before some ladies use bleach to curse me.
So ladies, plus some foolish guys that bleach too, LOVE YASELF!
Till next time, STOP BLEACHING!